


Pale imitations of sunlight

by Thesaurus_with_no_words



Series: Promts galore find second homes. [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Child Death, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Mpreg, Sibling Incest, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-24
Updated: 2018-10-24
Packaged: 2019-08-06 21:47:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16395692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thesaurus_with_no_words/pseuds/Thesaurus_with_no_words
Summary: ”No secrets, no shadows. We'll raise him in the sunlight. I promise Loki.” I love you.Thor breaks his oath.





	Pale imitations of sunlight

**Author's Note:**

> Sometimes I deal with pain by making it worse. Here's an example of that.

The remnants of a once great people limp through the star sea, lonely and exposed. A wounded animal separated from the herd.

Loki looks up at Thor, a brittle smile on his lips, long fingers cupping his abdomen. There is no swell yet, but Thor still stares, unable to look away. 

”I can't raise him like this, like a shadow, the kings dirty secret. I won't.” There is a sheen of tears in his eyes. 

Thor covers Loki's hands, their unborn child resting underneath. Outside stars hurl by at dizzying speeds, streaks of white on dark canvas. ”No secrets, no shadows. We'll raise him in the sunlight. I promise Loki.” _I love you_. 

It's a silent vow, made when their lips touch, bodies pressed close, new life cradled between them. A new beginning for everyone.

 

It becomes their mantra, their lifeboat, to which they cling. 

One of the engines sets out. Their speed is slowed from limp to a crawl. 

A soft touch to Thor's tense shoulders, eyes locking, a kiss, warm breath against his lips ”Don't fret, the sun will shine on us soon.” Loki cards fingers through Thor's hair, smile growing crocked, eyes twinkling. ”You promised me, after all.” 

Thor breathes out and kisses the mischief from his mouth.

 

Rations run low. Some people whisper in the corners. Why must they share with a criminal? A liar? A frost giant?

When Thor finally finds Loki in the bowels of the ship, his cheeks are dry but his eyes rimmed red. ”It's fine. Just hormones,” He insists, turning away, avoiding Thor's gaze. 

Thor embraces him, holds him close and safe, as if his arms can keep Loki's heart together. ”They are hungry and scared. They know not what they say.”

”They know,” Loki whispers, hands curling like claws against Thor's shoulder blades. ”They would see us both dead if not for you.”

Loki brushes his swelling midriff, eyes dark and feral. He looks ready to attack. Or run. ”The icy shore of Helheim is all they can spare for monsters and their get.”

The threat makes lightning crackle over Thor's skin, ”They will learn better.” He cups Loki's neck,” I promised you a place in the sun. You will have it.” Thor touches their foreheads together, ”In life and beyond.”

Loki cocks his head, fever brightness retreating, the dull despair of a too slow journey taking its place. ”In life perhaps, but there is no seat waiting for me, for any Jotun, in the golden halls of Valhalla.” He looks down, ”Though I hope an exception might be made for our son… He is half you.”

”Aye, and half you, which only makes him better.” Thor says, squeezing Loki's hand. 

Loki chuckles, ”Eternal sunlight for us both,” He says, then kisses Thor—mouth tasting of bitter hope.

 

  
The King of a dead people screams, fighting his bonds, tears flowing from his remaining eye. 

Loki looks at him, smile trembling, ”The sun will shine on us again.” 

But not in life. No new beginnings for anyone, no resurrections, only ends.

Robbed of his magic to sustain their unborn child, Loki dies. 

A four letter word cannot describe the agony off it. The sadistic slowness. Blood vessels popping, the hopeless gasps for air, the tears, the pain. 

Helplessly, Thor watches Thanos distinguish all the remaining light from his world.

After— _why must there be an after? Why does his heart still beat when it lies dead right in front of him?_ —after, Thor drags himself to Loki's side and curls over him. His throat is swollen shut from tears, yet he still breathes, each sob stabbing agony. He still lives, heart beating, beating, beating, but under his hand Loki grows cold. Thor feels the small flutter of a second tiny heart, struggling like a butterfly in a spider’s web, before it stops. 

Thor's son dies as his mother, fighting for oxygen and losing. Strangled. Drowned. 

Killed.

Murdered. 

The ship explodes. Loki is ripped from his arms. Thor roars in grief, voice lost to the cold endless space that is his loved ones’ grave. 

As he floats between white stars, billions of tiny suns blotted out by frozen bodies, Thor realizes that Loki was bathed in their light as he died. The pale and distant imitation of real warmth; that was all Loki ever got.

Thor broke his oath. 

He closes his eye and waits for an end that doesn't come.  


 


End file.
